The Average Carter

There is a balance between being a selfish friend, lover, worker, person and being a push over.  On the selfish hand you are the only thing that matters and if the other person doesn’t like it…well…you don’t need them.  On the overly giving hand, you do everything for everyone.  Their wants and needs come before your own, and you basically never get to do or have the things you want.  It seems like a pretty wide open range there, but I think you’d be surprised at how many people have a hard time falling into the middle area.

Doing things for other people can become addicting.  It makes you feel good to Read more…

So apparently the new facelift wasn’t working out too well.  I had some issues with the scripting and some conflicts with plugins.  Needless to say I had to go with something different that would work.  So here it is.  For the whole week last week the “read more” function wasn’t working and I’m guessing that my email wasn’t either.  I never received any notice from readers that it was down.  The contact page has been updated and all email settings are now corrected.  The “read more” link is now also corrected.  If you happen across any other kinds of issues, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line.

Back in the real world of actual physical contact and speaking face to face, the wedding date looms near.  Today is officially 5 weeks away and we pretty much have everything planned out and ready to rock and roll.  If it could be done tomorrow, I’m sure we’d both jump on that.  But we’re being Read more…

As a follow up to Friday’s post, I’d like to just ask a few questions.  Your feedback would be great.

Do CEOs wake up in the morning thinking, “I’m going to bilk millions of people out of their money today?”  Do strippers and porn stars think about changing jobs on their way to work?  Do alcoholics ever think about the ramifications of their actions on other people?  For that matter do drug dealers think about how the product they’re selling affects millions of lives both directly and indirectly?

When you pull up to a street corner and see Read more…

Sometimes I look around and really have to question the concept of civilized society.  I understand the definition of having advanced systems of human understanding in place (math, science, law, writing, etc), but when I look at individuals and sometimes groups I really question that.  Is it possible to be uncivilized in a civilized society?   Or is the individual automatically considered civilized because of the rest of society?  It’s an interesting thought and I’ll expand on my question a little.

The opposite of civilized would be barbarian.  But I don’t think I’d go so far as to say that some people are barbaric.  But some times the things we do still appear to be uncivilized.  It’s not so much a lack of education Read more…

Well as you can see the new site is up and running.  It has some cool new features on your side, and on my side more functionality.  I have more options of what I can display and share.  But most of the conversion was done for you, the reader.  I wanted to be able to provide more content and not be held back by lack of space.  So here we are….in the new house.  And it really is like moving into a new house.  I had to pay the up front fees to get everything set up, and now I’m looking at changing some things around.  It needs a fresh coat of paint and some added amenities.  But I won’t spend the whole post talking about the new site.

Today is Monday, of course, and we need to kick it off right.  No this isn’t an optimist’s post about being bright and sunshiney.  But I bet that could be fun.  It’s more about getting things in line.  A few weeks ago I posted a blog, that I seem to be unable to find now, about jobs.  It was based on a post I made on Facebook about taking your job for granted and someone coming in and taking it.  It’s happened to me, it’s happened to people I know, and I’m sure it’s happened to either you or someone you know.  You can only take something for granted for so long before it isn’t yours anymore.

Every Monday I sign on to Facebook and see people complaining about having to go to work.  And every Monday I think, “At least you have a job to go to every Monday.”  It may suck Read more…

Friday the 13th.

So much for an “off week.”  I took this week to completely retool the entire blog.  I’m now on a dedicated server instead of WordPress.com and have uploaded some really new things.  I’m still working on adding the blog roll and a few minor glitches in the coding.  The main reason for today’s post is to check everyone’s subscription updates.  They are still point to the main site so everything should be fine.  If not, please let me know in a comment.  Of you can email me at through the contact link.  If, through your browsing, you see anything that needs my attention like a bad link or, God forbid, poor spelling and grammar let me know.  For now, enjoy the new links and added space.

Also if you have a blog that you’d like to have linked…that’s relevant…please post it here in the comments as well.  If there are features that aren’t here, also let me know.  I’ve tried to transfer over pretty much everything, but I’m sure there are some things that could still be added.  Thanks again.

Carter

I’m taking a one week vacation from blogging this week.  There will be some changes going on to the site here shortly, but more importantly some changes going on at mi casa.  Right now there is too much to do to focus on writing.  But I will be back next week…hopefully with the new layout and site map in place.  Once again I want to thank everyone that has been keeping up with the posts and subscribing.  I really appreciate you all taking the time to read my ramblings, comment, or private message me.  I hope everyone has a great week!!

Riddle me this…how many guys would ever actually tell their girlfriend, wife or significant other that those pants DID make her butt look big?  How many women would tell their boyfriend, husband or significant other that the beer bellied sloppy/ripped shirt man she has now wasn’t what she signed up for when they said I do?  When it comes to those kinds of questions it’s better to take the high road and be safe than it is to openly confess something that deep down inside you know would really hurt the other person.  Some of us have that safety switch.  And some of us don’t.  But those are easy questions compared to the ones we put ourselves through.  We’re doubters, and in some situations that can be a very dangerous thing.

When I first started this blog I concentrated on relationships.  We talked about friendships, marriages, and breakups.  And during one of those conversations we talked about Read more…

Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday that we were asking permission to take the car for the night or getting everything ready for Friday night football games?  I can still remember the look on my parents’ faces when they busted me driving their old van around the neighborhood.  That was when I was 14…about 20 years ago.  But it doesn’t seem that long ago.  I can remember when my parents told me that I was going to have a little sister, and then later when they told me I’d have a brother.  I was 9 and 11.  Now one is married and the other is prepping for law school.  Wow.

The past seems like a distant memory but it’s right there.  We can still see it, we can still feel it affecting us, and in some ways we can still touch it and smell it.  So what does that say about our future?  It’s coming just as quickly as the past went away.  I’ve been thinking about this even more lately as we’ve been planning our wedding.  I feel like I just asked her to marry me yesterday and here we are now only 8 and a half weeks away. The major planning is done, but it comes up on you so quickly.

I wonder sometimes, does time slow down after you start a family?  Does time slow down for you to enjoy those days of peace and quiet?  Or does it speed up to make you be more productive?  Can we do anything more to savor those times we want to remember?  If the distant past seems like yesterday is the distant future really coming up like tomorrow?  I’ve looked back sometimes and thought “Wow, I’m over 30 and I’m hopefully not even half way there yet.”  I tell myself that I have a lot of time and that 30 years is an eternity. But is it really…especially when you can remember so far back with such clarity?

The future is coming.  We’re still without flying cars and the Hoverboard, but I’m still holding out hope.  I’m also holding out hope that one day I will be an old, old man with grandchildren all around and a woman I’ve had some of the best and worst times with right by my side.  Some days I think that I can’t wait for those days, but then I realize what I’d miss out on if I skipped all of those times in between in order to get there.  I enjoy looking back on my past with fondness.  There are good times and there are bad times.  There are times when I had nothing and times where I think I had everything.  I don’t have many regrets, and I wouldn’t change one thing.  All of my past brought me to the point where I am now.  I’m going into the future humble, happy, with family, with friends, and most importantly, with a partner.