The Average Carter

One of the things I really don’t like about society is how we love classification.  Everything has to be categorized, and we create stereotypes and standards for everything we can.  We don’t take into consideration individual growth rates, maturation, cognition, or biological development.  We categorize people by what they wear, how they behave, the color of their skin, their gender, their age, their religion, and really anything that makes them different than us.  Is it them or is it us?  Do we do it to see where they fit in or where we fit in?

What determines the ideal age for driving a vehicle, owning a gun, having sex, having a baby, getting married, retiring, etc?  Who determines what’s appropriate clothing (too skimpy vs too covered), appropriate language (social vs vulgar), appropriate weight (super skinny vs morbidly obese), etc?  Everything is set to a social standard.  Some things are based on religion, some are based on legal precedent, while other are simply based on tradition and “values.”  But who’s to say what is right or wrong in any of those situations?  Apparently society does.

Do we ever look back at ourselves though?  The stereotype and social judgement is a two-way street.  We feel the need to classify others so we know where they fit in, but in doing so we are actually self-evaluating as well.  We are determining our relative status in society as well.  Because who are we really comparing the other person with?  We’re asking questions like, “am I fatter than she is,” “is he wearing nicer clothes than I am,” “is he more active in church than me,” or “could I get away with doing/wearing/saying that myself?”  So we’re not only trying to classify the other person, we’re trying to see where we fit in as well.  It works both ways.

So what is the social norm then, and how is it relevant?  The social norm will vary in each society and culture.  As I stated earlier, it’s based on tradition and law.  With these two bases the norm expands into those values which are punishable if violated and those which aren’t punishable and are merely frowned upon.  In our society we’ve determined that it is illegal to kill someone and we’ve created a punishment for that offense.  We’ve also determined, based on tradition, that going to church is a norm.  However, if one doesn’t attend there is not a punishment.  Likewise, wearing weird clothing in public isn’t the norm but there isn’t a punishment for doing so.  Wearing no clothing in public will get you arrested, though.

A lot of what we do and see on an everyday basis, though, is about those non-punishible social norms.  It’s what we see, what we hear, what we feel, etc.  It’s how we view others and how we use them to find our own place in society.  Mostly everything they are doing, even if it’s outside of what we accept as normal, is all part of maintaining balance in society.  ”If everybody looked the same…” this would be a very, very boring place.  And as much as I hate seeing a bright orange spray tanned person, I somehow feel better about considering myself semi-normal…even if only briefly.

A lot of what I write has to do with defining things for ourselves.  We have the power to determine what we think is socially normal…outside of those punishable offenses of course. We can chose if we want to be straight down the middle or off to the side a little bit.  We don’t have to settle with being average in every category, and likewise we should respect the fact that people can step outside of that box and do things that are less than ordinary.  We don’t necessarily have to agree with their choices, but we can appreciate that they are willing to go against the grain and do something unique.

I hope all of you have a good hump day.  Comment section is open below.